Simple Rules for Expats in Georgia

I know, I know, I skipped a lot on that whole Armenia trip/Internation Women’s Day thing. But sometimes you just have to get to the important stuff, right? After a little over a month here, I’ve come up with some basic rules for life in Georgia, just on the off chance that you should ever make it this far.

1. Never compliment a Georgian. Not what you expected, right? But you’ve got to trust me on this one. The minute you compliment a Georgian on something of theirs, bag, sweater, earrings, etc., they will assume that you actually want it, and they are likely to try and give it to you, or at least buy you a matching pair. I have come into possession of a beautiful pair of earrings this way — well, two, actually, but one was from an American who has perhaps been a little too affected by the host culture.

2. Never ask for seconds. There’s just no need. You’ll be offered seconds, thirds, thirty-sevenths, etc. Start refusing food when you’re still hungry. They told us that Kakhetians (Eastern Georgians) are less pushy than Georgians from the West, and if that’s true, then I’ve still got a lot to learn.

3. Never mention offhandedly that you like something. If you say that you like something, it will immediately be assumed that you want it at that moment. In the middle of a conversation about wine, I said that I was sorry I couldn’t contribute much besides “It’s good” or “I like it,” because my Russian wine vocabulary wasn’t up to stat, and that I could say more if it was about beer. Oh, so you like beer? Yes, I do, I said. Do you want one now? they asked. As I already had a full glass of champagne in one hand, I said no, I’m good. But when it came to their attention that I hadn’t tried khingali yet, someone had to run out and get some, and what else did he come back with? That’s right, a huge bottle of beer.

4. Be prepared for questions about your marital status. When you meet a Georgian, they will ask  you three things, more or less in this order: Do you like Georgia? (Obviously, and truly, the answer is always yes.) Do you like Georgian food, and have you tried khingali and khachapuri? (Yes, yes, yes.) Are you married? (No.) What comes after that for me has, almost without fail, been this gem: are you going to marry a Georgian man and stay here forever? (What am I, a fortune teller? But dude, I’m still a little young . . . at least in the States.)

5. If you want to get a Georgian teenager to speak in English, ask them to tell you about Georgia. Consistent winner in my 12th grade class. The only winner there, actually. They’re really getting me pumped up about seeing Svaneti and Kazbegi.

6. Be prepared to hear “I love you” a lot. From lots of people — friends who you’ve just met, train conductors, Chechen dancers. In multiple languages, sometimes translated into one you can understand. I have a feeling that the true English meaning — and by meaning, I mean weight — of the words is somewhat lost in translation, but the fact that the feeling is there speaks to the genuine spirit of the Georgian people.

There are more, of course, there are always more, but there aren’t any more in my head right now. Once you get your flight plans settled I’ll compile a more complete list for you.